


Heart of a Girl

by colourthyme



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-05
Updated: 2015-12-06
Packaged: 2018-05-05 01:42:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5356238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colourthyme/pseuds/colourthyme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Song fic for Heart of a Girl by the Killers. Hancock/F!SS. Unnamed (well, named once because Codsworth has a couple lines but you can ignore that.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Looking out my window/  
An angel in robes/  
Appeared and nearly pulled me apart.

She threw her fists against the glass window of her cryo-pod, screaming.

“Don’t you dare, don’t you fucking dare!” 

The only thing her words could do was form an icy smoke, obscuring her view. 

Bang. And Nate and Shaun were gone.

The villains, clad in strange white suits that covered their faces, left with her baby.

“At least we have the backup,” was the last thing she heard before the frozen sleep took her again.

A million miles of freedom/  
A million miles of road/  
But I still don’t know where to start.

Standing on the top of the elevator to vault 111, she gazed over the ruined landscape of her home state. Lonliness, sadness, hopelessness. She was immediately crushed. She coughed – ragged and long – until she was sobbing from pain and emptiness. 

She was smacking the elevator’s activation button now. “Let me back in!” She demanded, but the elevator remained unresponsive. 

She looked out over the landscape once more. Destruction in every direction. Ruin. Abandoned homes, toppled trees, and the ruins of Boston were all she could see. There was no way anyone could have survived nuclear war. She was alone.  
She wanted to head home, if home were even still a thing, lie in bed, and die.

“Miss Jessica?”

“Codsworth?”

Hope in the form of a robot.

“I had thought you’d all died!” He exclaimed.

“We have, Codsworth. The earth is dead. Nate – Shaun – they’re gone.” She explained, broken.  
“You could go to Concord.” He recommended.

“Wait – there are people still alive?”

“Why, of course! You remember the way, I do hope?”

As she stood at the bridge out of town, Jess was overwhelmed with loneliness once more. She could turn around and see Codsworth, but that wasn’t the kind of loneliness she felt. She was a woman out of time. Two hundred and ten years late to dinner. Everyone she knew, every place she’d ever gone, was obliterated. Why had she survived? She had opened every last pod in that vault – dead body after dead body. What made her so fucking unlucky?

She looked at the road before her. She could, if she wanted to, go anywhere. She probably wouldn’t see a soul for miles. She could get lost, die of hunger, of radiation, or of disgusting, mutated bugs.

These thoughts comforted her.

She wrote her number down/  
And gave it to me/  
They had to scrape me off the floor.

Bang. The ‘insurance’ salesman was dead. Smoke danced from her gun. She was sick and tired of being taken advantage of. The wasteland had hardened her to a point – shoot first, shoot up later.

Hancock complimented her. “Come into a new place, assert your dominance, I like that.” He winked.  
She stepped past him.

Later that night, they ended up at the same bar. The only bar, granted. She was high as fuck, and he was getting there.  
“You belong here,” He laughed, ordering them drinks.

“Nah,” She slurred, shaking her head lazily. “Just here on business.”

“Ever mix business with pleasure?” Hancock grinned.

She flashed her ring finger at him.

“Are you flippin me – ohhh. Sorry for assumin’.” He apologized. She appreciated his genuine tone.  
She shrugged, taking another drink.

“So, whatcha here for?” Hancock asked.

“Memory den. Asshole mayor in Diamond City wouldn’t tell me shit about shit, so I came here instead.”  
“I can drink to that!” Hancock roared with laughter. “You’re in much better hands here. They’re very exclusive down at the ‘den; I’ll get you in, though.”  
“Appreciate it.” She answered with an actual smile.

The talked the night away, getting along like old friends.

After a couple more hits, Hancock insisted in walking her across the street to Hotel Rexford. She could barely move, so it was probably a good thing. Hancock took his chems much smoother – he was still talking. She responded in grunts and hand movements.

He tucked her in and closed the door carefully behind him. And he lingered there, just for a moment, before returning to the Statehouse.

In this transient town/  
Waiters and dealers/  
Trying to get their foot in the door.

Hancock was a busy man, but he made time for her.

“Not lookin’ forward to the day you leave.” He confessed as they both had a mentat on their tongues.

“Then come with me.” She joked.

“Deal.” He said unexpectedly.

“Wh – you have a town to run!” She exclaimed, unbelieving.

“And you travel with a dog – it’d be better to have a gun watchin’ your back.” Was his answer.

“And what do you get out of it?” She asked.

Hancock propped his feet up on the table. “I need to get back out there. Get into trouble; mess around. Before I get any more comfortable here.”

“I’m not following – isn’t the mayor supposed to be comfortable?”

“Hell no!” he practically shouted, his eyes lighting up. “In Goodneighbor, the mayor’s one of the people. If I get too cushy, I’ll end up like my brother – like McDonough.” He violently slammed his feet back onto the floor. “Ain’t no way in hell that’s happening.”

“Wait – McDonough is your brother?”

This started a very passionate rant about ghouls, Diamond City, and what an asshole McDonough was.

“That’s fucking terrible, I’m sorry.” She said as genuinely as she could.

Hancock was steaming and had to take a few breaths to calm down.

“Sorry,” he apologized. “The shit he’s done makes me furious.”

“With good reason,” she assured him. “I knew he was slimy, but I didn’t know he had blood on his hands.”

“Anyways, I meant it – about traveling around together. It’d be a good change of pace, and you’re nice company.”

She half-smiled. “Well, I can’t say no to that.”

I can see time/  
Drippin down the clock/  
We’ve been trying to hear that ancient refrain/  
It’s the one that knows just when our heads are down/  
And reminds us of the place from where we came.

Later that day, Hancock took her on a tour of Goodneighbor. She had confessed that she hadn’t looked around much, and he was appalled.

“You have to learn my town - have to. Hell, if you don’t, where will you know which direction to run in if you walk in on Gunners?”

“That happens?”

“We’ll talk about that – I may have something for us to do tonight.”

They made their way around, Hancock pointing out the sights, until they made it to the doors of the memory den.

“Oh, right – did you have something to do here?”

“Oh, right – I had something to do here.” They said simultaneously.

“C’mon, let’s get you a pod, then.” Hancock led her inside.

When she came too, she was crying in his arms. Irma was fretting, getting her a drink, and Doctor Amari looked around the room, at the floor, anywhere but at her.

They sat together on one of the couches in the entryway.

“Damn that was – that was real rough, I’m sorry.” Hancock was at a loss. He rubbed her back as she calmed down.

“Why?” Was all she could ask. “Why that memory?”

“We always pick the strongest memory for the first time.” Irma explained, handing her a carton of purified water.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two of three.

What happened here?/  
What is this world?/  
It’s too far from the heart of a girl.

She was entertaining him with pre-war stories as they traveled out of the ruins of Boston together. To her surprise, it wasn’t the stories her husband told her of war that interested him, but ones of her daily life. Of taking Shaun and the dog to the park. Of strolling through the original Boston, hand in hand with Nate, simply enjoying the day.

Hancock took her hand when she mentioned it, and they walked together that way then. 

“This place… This world must be so different for you.” He murmured thoughtfully. “I had no idea. And you didn’t live through it like Daisy, you didn’t see it change… just bang.”

“Bang indeed.” She nodded. 

“When I woke up… I wanted to die.” She looked out over the horizon.

“I guess I still do.”

Hancock squeezed her hand. “Hey now, no talkin’ like that. The longer you stay, the more it’ll seem like home.”

“It’s too different for that.” She answered, shaking her head. “My home is destroyed. I’ll never have another one.”

“Was it your home that was destroyed, or your love?” Hancock asked quietly, stopping to look at her. “’Cuz with enough love, you could make anywhere you home.” 

He leaned forwards and brushed his lips against hers. 

She was smiling now – it was small, but it was a smile. “You make a convincing argument,” she muttered, leaning into him and resting her head on his shoulder. 

A ripple in the water/  
from the drop of a pearl/  
I'm on the shore waiting/  
for the heart of a girl.

She grew distant as they traveled. Spoke less. Shot up alone more often. Hancock would have to look for her sometimes – she would be high, wandering wide-eyed away from camp, oblivious to her surroundings. 

“You’re gonna get yourself killed!” He’d berate her. 

She didn’t look like she cared.

But he, he cared about her. He cared about how her eyes lit up passionately when she spoke of bettering the world. He cared about the fun they would have together, high or not. Even when he was sober, being with her, hearing her talk – it was a rush.

They hadn’t shared a kiss since their first one. Sometimes, however, they’d exchange glances, and he knew, he just knew, that the spark was still there. Something was in the way, but it was there.

He was going to find out how to start it again.

Many doors/  
Knock on one/  
Standing still/  
Time is raging/  
Staring down the mouth of a hundred thousand guns/  
And you're still here/  
You're still here.

Hancock knew she was being pulled in all directions. The minutemen, the institute, the brotherhood, the railroad – they all wanted her help; all wanted her to sacrifice everything for them. She was stressed – tense during travels and tense during battle. She was getting hurt more often for it.

“You don’t have to do anything, love.” He took her hands and gazed into her eyes. She looked down, unable to meet his.

“I do, though. This is war. We are at war. Only, I’m wanted on every side.”

“Because you’re fuckin’ amazing!” Hancock exclaimed, trying to cheer her up. “Who else could do this? Decide the fate of the Commonwealth? You’re the only one strong enough.”

“Am I strong?” She said to herself, quietly. “Or am I weak; a coward, for not being able to choose?”

“Babe, you have come out of the fires of Hell itself.” Hancock moved his hands to her shoulders and used one to tip her chin up so that she would look at him. “No one can do what you can.”

He took a deep, shaky breath, not enjoyed what he’d have to say next.

“I know you’re suicidal.” He finally let it out. She stared at him, mouth slightly agape. “And I want you to know – I’m damn proud of you. You’re still here. The world is trying to kill you, but you’re still here.” 

This time, she initiated the hug, pulling him close. 

“Thank you.” She whispered.

I believe that we never have to be alone/  
Yes, I believe/  
It's just around the bend/  
You can hold it in or scream it on a microphone/  
There is no end. 

From then on, they were nearly inseparable. Not that she didn’t have or spend time with her friends, but Hancock was always nearby. Her constant companion and dearest friend. 

No, something more than that. 

“Hancock, we need to talk about us.” She said one day as they strolled through Sanctuary, checking up on the settlers and lending a hand where they could. 

“Us? Like, us us?” He asked, confused.

“I don’t know what that means, but yes.” She giggled.

“You know I’ve got feelings for you, love.” He confessed. “What more is there to say?”

“That I like you too?” She said sheepishly. 

“That you like m- you like me?” He stopped walking. “You like this mug?”

She nodded, smiling softly. 

“And your husband,” he gently touched her hand and thumbed at the ring on her finger. “He’s alright with this?”

“Well, he says this –“ she adopted a lower tone -“honey, I’m dead, and you’re a grown woman, and you can make your own decisions.”

Hancock chuckled. “Well then,” he took her face between his hands, “good. I’ve been waitin’.”

He kissed her like he was kissing a flower, but she kissed back like a lioness.

 

“You’ve helped me so much. She was muttering near his ear as they lay entwined together in bed later that evening. “I want to say thank-you.”  
“Likewise,” Hancock replied in a comfortable sigh before drifting off to sleep.

Deep in the night,  
I feel the presence of something that was long ago told to me.  
There is a hand guiding the river,  
The river to wide open sea.

“Do you believe in fate?” She asked Hancock one afternoon.

“I’ve never been a spiritual guy, but I wouldn’t deny anythin’ bigger than us bein’ out there.” Was his reply.

“When I was a kid, I would go to church. It taught us that there was a giant man in the sky who decided everything we do.”

Hancock snorted. “Seriously? Well, I mean, I guess everyone needs somethin’ to believe. Look at those Children of Atom.”

“Exactly. But, that’s not exactly what I’m talking about. I’m trying to say… do you think we were meant to end up in that bar together that night?”

“The first night you were in down?” Hancock thought for a moment, and then nodded slowly. “I could see that. Two people meant to be together, huh?” He grinned. “Well, I’m glad it was you.” 

She smiled back. “Me too.”

“Does fate say I’ll get to keep you forever?” He asked, pulling her close with an arm around her waist. 

“I don’t know, but I do.” She nuzzled his shoulder.


	3. Chapter 3

And deep in my heart/  
In any game/  
On any mountain/  
Oh I'm not afraid/  
Standing on stone/  
You stand beside me/  
And honor the plans that were made.

Corpses littered the ground before them. The raider camp had been completely annihilated.

Hancock grinned at her. “Could really use some jet after that.” He said, collapsing into a chair and propping his feet up on a body.

“Chem break?” She offered, pulling up her own chair and sitting next to him.

“Yes, please,” he answered, pulling an inhaler of jet out of his coat.

She was still coming down from a high of psychobuff from the fight, but she took the jet offered to her anyways. Could never be too high.

They sat in silence, watching the world whirl around them. On jet, she loved to watch the birds. They were like streaks of black in the sky leaving a smoke trail of feathers. Hancock liked to gaze out over the horizon. She wasn’t sure what he was looking at, but hell, to each their own.

The rush was short but exhilarating. Coming down, she draped her arms around Hancock’s neck from behind and burrowed her face into the top of his back.

“Hey, love,” He entwined their fingers the best he could from their position. “What d’ya say we turn you ghoul? We could do this long-term.”

“I was already planning on long term, but if you’ve got an idea, shoot.”

Hancock chuckled. “I’ll start lookin’ around. But seriously – if I find somethin’ – would you be up for it?”

She took a moment to think.

“I want to say yes, but it’s a bit nerve-wracking.”

“I’ll admit it’d be surprised if you were super into it from the start.” Hancock reassured her. “Just give it some thought. I don’t even know if it’s possible yet.”

“You’d really wanna stay with me for… hundreds of years?” She asked, circling around to be beside him.

He ruffled her hair. “Really.” He promised.

That night I called her and she said/  
Daddy, daddy, daddy/  
all my life/  
I've been trying to find my place in this world/  
I said to her/  
Baby baby, babe/  
I've got all night/  
to listen to the heart of a girl.

They lay together basking in the light of the moon on an old mattress.

“I think I’ve finally found it.” She murmured.

“Hmm?” He grunted, rolling over to wrap his arms around her.

“Here. Right here is where I belong.”

“Cuz it’s your old house?” Hancock asked.  
“No,” she smiled though he couldn’t see it, “because you’re here.”

Now he smiled, and she could feel it on her neck.

“Well, that’s sweet.” He said, kissing her jaw.

“I thought I would be alone forever.” She admitted, continuing. “That with Nate and Shaun gone… that I should be next. That I should have died with my husband.” She touched the ring on her finger.

“Now I know… I was meant to survive. I was meant to do all of this, to help people, even if it hurt. Even if it almost broke me over and over.”

Hancock kissed her again, softly.

“I was meant to be here… with you.” She finished, taking off her wedding right and flicking it into the darkness.

“Fuck yeah you were,” Hancock answered, squeezing her tighter.

“You saved me.” She muttered, shifting so that she was on her back. She gently caressed her love’s cheek as best she could from her angle.

“And you me.” He answered.


End file.
